How to catch a Suzuki
by Frozen-Fortune
Summary: So you want to catch a Suzuki, eh? Well then, follow this guide and you just might be able to catch one of your very own. Oneshot!


So you want to catch a Suzuki, eh? Well follow this guide and you just might be able to catch one of your very own.

First, lets start off with some information on our target. It is wise to know as much as you can about that which you are after.

A Suzuki, also known as a Beautiful Suzuki, is a very rare creature. Those that have had enough luck to have a glimpse at the creature, know just how magnificent and beautiful it is. A Suzuki likes to surround it's self with vibrant colors and colorful objects to attract members of the opposite gender. Many other species do this, but the Suzuki it thought to be the creature to start it, and is by far the most exotic. It is also a very graceful creature that has been said to be seen at the end of a rainbow, much like the fabled pot of gold.

A Suzuki is a creature that is thought to like to build things. Such things have never been taken and observed, but they have been seen by a select few. If you should ever happen to find something that you suspect to be built by a Suzuki, please contact a local _Suzuki Research and Study Organization Center_ near you. A Suzuki is also a creature thought to be the source of unexplained explosions in the night.

Many things have been heard about the Suzuki, such as it is thought that it might drive a red VW bug with black polka dots (to look like a lady bug), flower shaped lights, and multicolor fabric inside. It is also thought to be seen interacting with a samurai and a few ninja. However, all of these are currently rumors and need more study on the subject.

Now that we are more familiar with the Suzuki, we can move on to how to capture it.

Most people would go with the quick and easy way of shooting the Suzuki with a tranquilizer dart.

However, when the Suzuki wakes up, it will be disoriented and quite frightened. You will need to place it in a secure room, no place to escape such as a window or other easy passageways, like vents, because a Suzuki is a very intelligent creature and will find a way out. Try to fill the room with bright colors and shiny objects to make it a little more at home. The more colorful, the better.

Give the Suzuki plenty of time to calm down. DO NOT put the Suzuki in a room with a shrine of it. This will cause your Suzuki to freak out, thinking that you want to do horrible fan-girl things to it (even if you do, don't let it be known). You need to establish a trust bond with it first. You want your Suzuki to be clam when you go to it. A Suzuki can be very dangerous if threatened or scared, so approach with caution.

If you wish to capture a Suzuki with the classic ways, then here are some helpful hints and examples:

_Box, stick, and string._ One would think that such a simple trick wouldn't catch a creature as intelligent as a Suzuki; however, if you use the right bait, chances are that it will indeed work. If you happen to have a pair of rainbow toe socks lying around or a monthly scientist magazine, just place is under the box and wait. The Suzuki will more the likely know that it is a trap, but it's confidence will get it into more trouble then anything else. Be sure to weigh down to box to prevent escape.

_Foot noose. _This old trick can be set up by placing glittery objects or tools in the area of the trap. A mechanic's manual will also help with drawing in the Suzuki. Don't leave your Suzuki hanging for very long. You wouldn't want too much blood to rush to it's head and cause any damage to it's wonderful and brilliant mind. If anything, act like you are the one to 'save' it, and it will be grateful to you.

_Pit covered with sticks and leaves._ After you have set this trap up, carefully place a multicolored fabric in the middle. Make sure to stay in the area until the Suzuki is caught. You wouldn't want it to be stuck down in that hole for very long without food, water, or attention. Without attention for a long extended period of time, the Suzuki will mentally starve to death and become very unpredictable, possibly even causing a mental break down. The Suzuki might be a brilliant and intelligent creature, but it is also quite fragile.

Be sure to let your Suzuki keep any and all the bait that you used to capture it. That will cause it to be less upset.

If you want to go with a more cleaver and devious trap, here are a few ideas in case you can't think of any:

_Tanning salon sign._ Place the sign outside the 'door' of your disguised cage and make sure to make it actually look like a tanning salon. A Suzuki won't go into a place that seems like either a wast of time or that looks like it might do a bad job. A lot of work will have to be put into this one, but the reward with be having finally caught your Suzuki. After you catch it, and your Suzuki has calmed down, promise to take it to an actual tanning salon if it will be good.

_Free hair styling and grooming products._ Make your trap look like a store that is having a promotional 'give-away'. This one will also have to look like the real deal in order to trick your Suzuki. If anything is amiss, your Suzuki will head for the hills. As well, this one requires a promise for the real thing after being good.

Once you have caught your Suzuki, be sure to treat it with love and lots of attention. A Suzuki should be fed three times daily, exercised regularly, and paid attention to constantly. Lots of colorful gifts should be given along with some 'alone' time so that it might build something. Also be sure to give it lots of tools to play with, along with making sure that a fire extinguisher is near by and smoke detectors are placed around your home that are in working order.

You'll need to make your Suzuki feel extremely special. Treat it like you would a treasure (after all, a Suzuki is a very rare treasure indeed). Be sure that you make it feel rare diamond, expensive gift, special. Not special-ed, feel sorry for it, has to be helped, special. It'll know the difference.

Your Suzuki will become quite upset and, very possibly, destructive if you get the two mixed up.

If your Suzuki should happen to become depressed, take it to a place with lesser attractive and slower creatures. This will make your Suzuki feel better about it's self, thus putting it into a better mood. Then, if you wish, you can take your Suzuki out for a treat of it's choice.

If you should happen to find yourself with a Suzuki that has become 'testy' or destructive, threaten to take away all of it's toys and/or threaten to lock it into a grey room if it doesn't behave. This might make your Suzuki upset and cause it to sulk for a bit, but do not worry. It will be back to it's creative and brilliant self in no time. Do not, however, issue a spanking as a punishment. A Suzuki is known to actually like this kind of physical contact and it would undermine the teaching process.

NEVER act like you are better then your Suzuki. This will upset it more then taking all it's toys and colorful things away. An upset Suzuki will cause lots of trouble in order to gain attention of any kind.

Your Suzuki will seek out ways to become the alpha of your house, taking down anyone and anything that stands in it's way. Be sure to make your Suzuki feel like it is in control of your house; however, do not let your Suzuki get away with everything. You must make it act with manners and show at least a little respect to you. After all, you are the one feeding it.

With lots of gifts, love, attention, and care, your Suzuki might one day begin to show affection to you. There is nothing as special or as magical as a bond with a Suzuki.

This has been a _Guide on Suzuki : Beautiful and exotic._

**END**

**Author's note: There's my How to catch a Suzuki guide. I did this one for a friend. Happy Suzu hunting, Siren!! ^^ I hope it made you happy! I had a fun time writing it. Tell me what you guys think!**


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